A few years back, I remember I was driving my 18 year old son to school and out of the blue he asked “Mama, nag-birthday ba ako sa Mcdo or Jollibee.” ( Mama, did I ever celebrated my birthday with a McDonald’s or Jollibee party?), with a smile I responded with a question, “Anak, naaalala mo bang nag-birthday ka sa Mcdo or Jollibee?” ( My son, do you remember celebrating your birthday in Mcdo or Jollibee).
In a flash he answered, “Wala akong naalala, Mama...” ( Mama, I have no recollection) and I answered this time while lovingly smiling, “Anak, tama ang alaala mo!” ( My son, your memory is correct). And we both laugh to our hearts’ delight.
But it didn’t end there.
I further inquired, “Anak, did you feel may kulang sa childhood mo dahil di ka nag-birthday sa Mcdo or Jollibee?” (Son, did you feel something is lacking in your childhood because you didn’t celebrate any birthday in Mcdo or Jollibee?) and he said, “Wala naman, Mama.” ( Nothing is lacking, Mama).
“Hamo, nak, kapag kinasal ka, sa Mcdo ang reception.” (Don’t worry, son, on your wedding, reception will be at Mcdo) and both of us blurted out with louder laughter.
As a single parent, my finances were tight when I was raising my 3 children. Everything was budgeted and hence, no budget for parties, but there is budget for education. As parents, we should never feel that we let our children down because we didn’t give them the luxury of Mascot-laden birthdays when they were young especially when we all know that we cannot afford it in favor of the more basic and important needs like food, utilities and shelter.
Sometimes because of our love to our children, our emotions get in the way that we feel pity if our kids do not experience what the other children have. These sentiments Daniel Goleman coined as ‘Emotional Hijack’. We should not fall into the trap of borrowing money just to provide the extravagance that we will need to pay later with accelerating interests. We should nourish our Financial EQ and learn to discipline our emotion when it comes to handling our finances.
It is paramount that we prioritize which will reap better things, like, now, my son earns on his own and he finished his college at the Ateneo de Manila University, which is something that I am very, very proud of.
To learn more about Financial EQ and how it can benefit your group/association, please click here.
Len C is a proud mother of 3 lovely kids, worked in the academe, has more than a decade experience in the BPO industry, with MA units major in Industrial-Organizational Psychology at the Ateneo de Manila University.
School days are back. Many parents might have been used to this kind of situation many times over.
For first time parents, this can be an exciting and confusing period. A lot of first time parents may be reluctant on how they should manage their kids on their first day of school.
It’s more fun in the Philippines especially during summer when the kids are on vacation.
With the 7000+ islands
A lot of places to visit this summer - Coron, Puerto Princesa, Boracay, Hundred Islands, Calatagan, Bicol, Banawe, Baguio, Ilocos Norte, Vigan, Banggui, - and the list goes on…
Plenty of places to go to – so little time… so little budget! Hehehe
The concept of home is something intriguing for me. To answer the question ¨Where home is¨ is a challenge itself. Is it where my parents live? Is it where I first lived with my husband? The place where we first became parents? Our very first own house?
For me, each place significantly spells home for a time being. But none of it can I truly call Home. In every place I reside, I’m the newest arrival - always new, and slightly on the outside of a friend’s group.
Umaawit na naman ang Aegis sa radio...
Kaya't ibigay n'yo na!
Ang aming Christmas Bonus Pati na ang 13th month pay Para lahat okay na okay!
This is the time of the year again that we get extra money from being employed which we call ‘bonus’ or ‘13th month pay’ because it’s Christmas! And during Christmas, Generosity abounds!
And what do I do the minute that the bonus reaches my hand? I along with my children will march hand-in-hand (with the sound of Hollywood’s war battle in the 1800s in the background), CHARGE!!! TO THE MALL!!! ☺
Yup! That is what 99% of us working class Filipinos do whenever we get that bonus. We spend it until the last drop of it.
And inside the mall, we need not be taught how to spend. We are all NATURAL SPENDERS. We are good in spending but very poor savers.
How do I try to handle the spending?
So you don’t end up buying a shirt you will not wear for a year or even for a decade.
3. Learn to be firm (especially to yourself).
So here you go, I never meant to ask us to be scrooge-to-the-max and rob us of our happy Christmas making. It is more of pushing our Financial EQ to work for us and making the after holiday days smooth-sailing (aka 'no credit card bills hounding us to our sleep').
Len C is a proud mother of 3 lovely kids, has more than a decade experience in the BPO industry, with MA units major in Industrial-Organizational Psychology at the Ateneo de Manila University
I lost my parents, including my eldest brother, due to early deaths. Unfortunately, they did not leave me and my youngest brother with any health or life insurance, much less any savings which we could have used for our daily sustenance. So, we decided to sell all our properties until we were left with nothing. And this started our financial difficulties.
It took me a long time before I learned to manage my finances better. This was because of three main reasons.
Tan tan tatan... tan tan tatan...
It was the marching sound of college graduation. 31 May 2017, my second child, my oldest daughter is graduating from college. And I think and I see I was the happiest parent in the hall. Yehey! Clap! Clap! Clap!
I gave her solid deadlines (same deadlines I gave to my oldest child when he graduated in 2012).
As we travel life’s road we come to an intersection where we can’t figure out what or where our next turn would be. It may be confusing sometimes to the point that we don’t want to make a turn at all and instead, go back to where we started.
A lot of us encounter a dilemma at one point in our life. Especially when it is life changing decision that involves our families and kids. Even after all things considered, there is still that small voice going over and over in our head with a list of what ifs which somehow prevents us from plunging into the unknown.
Mind Over Money - Good Housekeeping Philippines (featuring Dr. Ronnie Motilla, President of P.E.R.A. Inc. )
Following are excerpts of a Good Housekeeping Philippines article (July 2017 issue) featuring Dr. Ronaldo A. Motilla, Phd, CSCLP, RP, and President of the Psychological Empowerment to Resources and Aspirations (P.E.R.A.) Inc.
It’s important to understand the role emotions play in decision-making, especially when it comes to our finances, lest they lead us to less-than-favorable situations. For instance, you might think your impulse purchases are few and far between, but if you don’t recognize and address the underlying emotions that push you to make them, you might be surprised to find yourself drowning in credit card debt one day. After all, small purchases may seem inconsequential at the time you make them, but they certainly add up.
“If you’re not aware of your emotions, that would really propel you to unconsciously make unnecessary or irrelevant expenses,” says Ronaldo A. Motilla Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, professor, and head of the Integrated Lifestyle and Wellness (ILAW) Center in Miriam College in Quezon City, and President of the Psychological Empowerment for Resources and Aspirations (P.E.R.A.) Inc., which provides financial counseling services to local and overseas Filipino workers and their families. “That’s why the question we ultimately ask our clients is: Is this purchase or decision bringing you closer to your goals? Or are you just feeding your emotions?” adds Dr. Motilla. “Emotions are really powerful and, when unmanaged, could lead you to make or break your finances.” It doesn’t stop at spending habits, though. Here are other ways emotions can affect your financial well-being.
Some people, especially my students, ask me how they would know if they are truly in love. My short and immediate answer would always be, “When you and your partner have become better persons.” In Filipino I ask them, “Mas nagiging mabuting tao ka ba sa relasyon mo ngayon?” I guess this is the true essence of love, at least for me. It makes the other person a better version of herself/himself. However, if the partner becomes worst, destructive, damaging, and disorganized because of the relationship, then I guess this is not love; it is mere infatuation. If you are in love, you are a-live (the word “live” when spelled backwards is “evil”). Opposite to love is death, i.e., death of your human potentials, death of your dreams and aspirations, death of your aliveness as a person. Thus, any kind of abuse in the relationship is regarded as death to the human spirit.
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